pOkE the pLaNeT

Im off to the U.S again in November to see if the colonials are progressing.

The problem is booking stuff on the internet. First you start with the airlines, and booking tickets there is like playing chess in the dark... you cant really see whats happening but you just know the other side is screwing you. The fare conditions and restrictions and fees now look like the first failed draft of the Korean War ceasefire agreement... nine hundred bucks in cancellation fees for a ticket worth not much more than twice that? Total forfeiture of fare if you are late or dont cancel well before departure? Australians will also soon have to send their personal details via the airline to the State Department/ DHS well before travelling. This is nothing like travel in the 1990's.

Theres a very real move now to charge overweight passengers extra. Airline marketing/survey companies are already testing the waters and found about 80% approved on a 'survey' on MSNBC, which is about what they wanted, so expect some new fees soon. There is also talk of charging for carry on baggage as well as checked baggage. There was a joke many years ago about the weight limitations on a new Mercedes... the joke was the car could only legally carry four dwarves and their toothbrushes to a nudist colony. For 'Mercedes' now read 'Airline'. The thing is, for decades the airlines quite happily managed to uplift people and their bags for the price of a ticket alone day in day out, even when oil prices skyrocketed in the 70's. The difference is back then the airlines werent in a race to the bottom with internet fares and search engines, where a one dollar difference can cost you a customer.

The navy is in town. The USN Mercy, a hospital ship, has been in Port Moresbys Fairfax Harbor for a week on a goodwill mission and the response has been amazing. It makes such a huge change from the negative publicity that seems to be all we see on television about any military organisation, and the ship has not only run clinics and helped villagers out, but the ships helicopter also did a mountain rescue of a a critically ill trekker on the Kokoda Track. My guess is absolutely none of this is making news in the U.S and its a pity.

K

I have absolutely no previous experience running an office, but have taken on a mid level management position in my company. Its been a steep learning curve.

Until now, I had 'days off'. These were days when I could sit at home and watch $8.00 DVD classics while debating whether the car needed a wash this month or not. Thats all history as Im now public property and every person with a suggestion or a gripe has my contact details. I understand the responsibilities of a management position, I really do, but every time I try to put aside two hours for a Bronson movie something intervenes and I have to wait another day or week. Its upsetting.

Then theres the office. Ive discovered from another newly minted manager in the souless rotting hardboard cubicle next door that the only word common to all management phone conversations is 'F##k'. This word is invariably uttered the moment the phone is put down. Honestly, the easiest way to start smoking again and blow away two years of patches and yoga and crap is to do management work. Its like being a scapegoat only with an email address.

Cold here in Cairns, and 'cold' in Cairns means it gets down to a chilly 50 degrees fahrenheit, something that wouldnt faze a nudist colony in the U.S but which has the locals here complaining and rugging up as if theyve got a hot date at the South Pole later this morning. All the winter fashions come out along with the fashionable dogs... Im the only person in my neighbourhood who doesnt have a tiny fur covered barking machine and I swear every dog has been trained to zero in on my front yard during their walks. I might buy a waste retrieval device, not to clean up with but to whack the owners with.

The Olympics are starting next week so I've prepared by ripping the rabbits ears off my tv and buying a dozen action movies on DVD from Woolworths. The day I watch the Olympics is the day they strap me to a chair and pin my eyes open a la 'A Clockwork Orange'. Its not so much the Chinese part of it, or the doping, or the adverts, or even the unsightly sea of spandex. Its the commentary. God help anyone who doesnt win a gold medal or who comes up lame, because the media here is totally without mercy.

K